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I knew someday my world would crumble, that my life would shatter and fall to the ground, the friends are gone the ones that I trust the most the ones who I relied on. Stability, familiarity, comforts all gone. They all disappeared, the world I knew was changing and I was just standing there. Not changing not moving ahead at all. Maybe even falling behind some. Not realizing it at the time. Losing everything I knew and recognized to be surrounded by things I never knew existed before. Some good some bad but all unfamiliar, some uncomfortable, some unchangeable, all unknown to me prior. The stability, familiarity were gone until I changed to the new surroundings, unwilling, unknowing of what could happen. Scared to look ahead, afraid to stay behind. Just standing still. My known world gone. Disappeared. The New World ahead. The hated world behind. What to do. To go ahead and explore new things, change along with the rest, or go back to the world known but the world filled with hate and bewilderment. Or to stand still and waste the life away. Not doing anything not caring. The journey to chose to change like all the rest, to go back and be the same as you were. Neither the right choice for me. I want to go off on my own, make my own world, and be my own person. But will I be accepted, understood or will I have to be alone through all. Not being understood by anyone, not having anyone to care for me or for me to care for. Not having a friend, a person to turn to in my need, need to be accepted by someone. Just one person to understand me fully. Some one to say its ok you'll get through it and all this is safe with me. Someone, who will be a friend, keep secrets, give advice, know what's going on, and all the same be honest. Not keep secrets from me; tell me everything they know which could possibly help me. But it's all just a dream because I am longing to find that one person, who cares who knows who can be that friend. But in the worlds that person does not exist. So I just stand still wasting it all deciding, worrying about what's going to happen, and not living in the moment.
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